What Kind Of T-Girl Mistress Would I Be?

In my time online in the CD/Sissy/T-Girl Community, I've seen a lot of role play fantasy.  I'm not against that.  Its better to be able to have that outlet at least.  But, I also talk to the person who wants to explore their feminine side and feels they can't.  Or, they don't know where to start.

I've chatted with these people, and some of my favorite times are when they took a step and did something.  One person grabbed a pair of panties from their sisters drawer and put them on for the first time.  Another went out shopping and bought a skirt and top.  She was quite emotional after that, and I was proud of her.

I take time to chat with other sissies, especially the ones who are real.  I get the fact that you are alone and scared and don't know what to do.  You only know you want to do something.  I've been there.  The fantasy is that a Femdom Mistress, or the ideal Mommy Domme, will be there to help you.

The reality is they don't grow on trees.  You may not know where to look, and when you do look you see a price tag associated with it.  Then you get discouraged.  The ideal satiation would be one on one a with a genetic woman who you are in a relationship with.  Some actually know that first hand.

Reality is if you are looking, it may cost you for the tribute.  It could blossom into a relationship, or maybe it stays strictly professional, but you'll have to offer a tribute to show you are serious and that you appreciate being granted some of Her time.

Some women truly love bringing the feminine side out of a man.  They do it for hobby when the mood strikes them   Some love it, but they put a lot of work and effort into doing it right.  In either of these cases, I would suspect a tribute is in order or it won't last.  Even the non pro wants to feel appreciated.

Some do this because it pays well,  Sissies throw money at them, and they are all too willing to take it.  If you come across such a woman and are annoyed by her, there's an easy solution.  Move on.  You don't have to waste your time on money grubbers.  Just understand that what you seek isn't always free.

A sissy will go to a Mistress for a very good reason.  She wants to feel accepted in expressing that side of herself.  She seeks approval and help in taking it further.  She wants somebody who she can talk to who will listen and give advice.  It isn't all PG as it can get wild if that's what the sissy has in mind

I have been considering the world of online domination as a TS Mistress.  I understand what it takes to explore your femininity or begin the transition process on your own, having done it myself.  I know I can help others as I have done so already. It makes me feel good when I help a sissy come to self acceptance.

I believe the online Mistress thing can be very fulfilling provided both people involved are open and listen to each other.  Cams and a portable camera for the sissy are in order.  For those outdoor assignments, sissy will need to show proof of what Mistress asked her to do.

This can involve some humiliation or just encouragement towards the goals sissy has.  However, the sissy should respect that her Mistress knows what is right and won't put her in a bad spot.  The Mistress needs to understand the sissy well enough not to push her too hard or be too demanding.  That doesn't mean limits can't or shouldn't be tested.  It's all part of the experience.

As I consider all of this, this is what I would like to offer:

An understanding and sympathetic ear: We all need somebody to talk to.  Being a sissy can be very lonely, especially as you deal with the guilt and shame.

Encouragement: Once I know what you want, I want to encourage you to do it.  I want you to achieve it.  Make yourself happy and make me proud of you, because you can do this if you really want to.

Assignments: I want you to go shopping for me and not be afraid.  Go buy yourself those panties or the lipstick you want. I wanna see proof you did it, and I want you to talk about how you feel after finally doing it.

A Little Naughtiness: You have fantasies involving your dressing up, and I want to hear them.  You feel a little humiliated?  Well, maybe you should.  You are a sissy after all, even though I don't see that as a bad thing.

Dress Up Time: I want to see you in those new panties, that nightie or whatever it is you have.  You want my opinion, and  I'm more than happy to give it to you.

That's off the top of my head. I'm not claiming the title of Mistress yet.  There is an offer on the table for me to submit to a Mistress in order to learn and understand things even better.  I may be doing that soon.  She wants to help me, and a part of me really wants to learn from Her.  But even though I've never engaged in this lifestyle, I respect it and take it seriously.  I won't commit half heartedly to Her.

In my heart are the two ideas that drive me the hardest as I interact with other CD's/Sissies/T-Girls.  I want to help everybody to come to self acceptance and be proud of who they are.  Also, I want to bring about a day when sissies can be open with the women they love, and those women would be accepting of them.  Those are my dreams anyway.

I Saw You

Being transgender or even going out dressed occasionally can be a challenge.  We all have our struggles.  This was written a couple years ago and never published.   It's based on true experiences of being dressed in public.

I see you over there, looking at me.  Are you one of the people that hates me without knowing me?  Do you think I'm a joke?  Are you somebody who doesn't care?  Do you see me and understand that it's not easy for me, but it's who I am?  Do you want to talk to me, but for some reason you don't?  Do you think to yourself, "Big deal, just live and and be happy?"  Are you somebody like me, but afraid to be yourself in a sometimes unforgiving world?

I saw you that day and tried to just walk by.  I was taking some of my first steps in the world as the girl I am, and I was worried you might react to the site of me.  I hate that I have to do that.  Walking on egg shells around people I don't know when I'm doing nothing wrong.  But, sad to say I was right.  You tried to trip me.  You laughed at me and called me a fag.  I just kept walking.  Who are you to judge me?

I saw you that day walking with your girl friends.  You giggled as you walked past me.  I understand, but you've got me all wrong.  I'm not trying to amuse you.  I just want to be me.  You are so lucky to be born with such beauty, but I don't think you're better than me.  It was just a brief moment as we walked in opposite directions.

I saw you that day when you rolled down your window and called to me.  Not sure why a stranger would stop at a red light and talk to me.  But you were a nice lady.  You told me you loved my nails.  I smiled and thanked you.  For that moment, I felt like one of the girls.  I hope you received a compliment later that day that made you feel twice as good as you made me feel.

I saw you that day, driving down the road with your buddies.  You called me a fag, and you all laughed.  What's so funny about being transgender?  That doesn't make me gay, by the way.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.  I have to wonder, though.  Are you gay?  Or one of your friends?  Transgender?  If you were and I saw you walking down the street, I wouldn't judge you.

I saw you driving up the road and you felt the need to call me a fag and threaten me.  You did it every time you saw me.  I'm not a pushover, and I will not lay down if you attack me, though one of us might die in that confrontation.  Just the same, I don't walk that way anymore.  Are you happy with yourself?

I saw you that day when I accidentally bumped into you in front of a store.  I was looking in the window to see if they had what I was looking for on the shelf.  Awkwardly, I opened the door for you in an attempt to apologize, but you refused.  You told me you could open your own damn door, so I walked in and you followed me.  For some reason, you thought you needed to call me a freak as you walked past.  I didn't let that stand, and I'm not proud of myself for not letting it slide as just a girl who didn't understand.  I thought you might, and I explained why you were wrong.  Being a black woman, I thought you would understand a little about hate, but you just laughed.  I wonder if anything sunk in.  Does it even matter?

I saw you that day when you stopped your truck and waited for me to walk by.  In some ways, guys like you are just as bad as the ones that call me names.  You see me as somebody who will put out, because girls like me are automatically sluts, right?  Where are the guys who want to get to know you better?

I saw you that day at the train station.  You knew what you wanted from me  I'd seen you before.  I tried to leave without you noticing me, but you knew what I was up to.  I was no fool.  I knew what you wanted from me.  I felt like you were the hunter and I was the prey, but I knew you wouldn't hurt me.  I knew what you wanted from me, and for the first time I submitted.  Not all the way.  I'm not giving it all up so easily, but I did make you happy.  It's not the last time we met.  It's not the last time I've done this.  I know nothing truly meaningful will come of this.

I saw you at the store, you were so nice to me.  You even told me I looked pretty.  Me?  Really? You even gave me a few tips.  And if you see me walking by, you always smile and wave to me.  It means a lot.

I saw you walk by and give me a knowing look.  Not like the looks I get from some other women.  You look like you understand.  You look like somebody that wouldn't mind having me as a friend.  Is that what you were thinking?  I don't know.  I show you the respect of smiling back as I walk by, not knowing if we could have been friends or not.

I saw you at the store.  You smile at me and always say hi.  If I haven't been there for a while, you acknowledge that fact.  You have a pretty smile.  I get the feeling that you like me, but I don't know.  I haven't had many women at all that really liked me.  I'd say something, but I don't want to mess this up.  Maybe I'm handling it wrong, but I don't know.

I saw you that day when you pulled over and motioned me to your truck.  What would a lady want with me?  You asked me a few questions about my makeup and hair.  You offered to help and even told me you had some blouses at home I could wear.  You opened up to me about yourself and some of the struggles in your life.  We were gonna get together and you we're gonna help me with my makeup and hair, but I never heard from you.  I think I probably blew it, and that makes me sad.  I think we could have been good friends, and I think you needed one just as much as I did.  Should we meet again, I won't let it slip away so easily next time.

I may have seen you walking somewhere.  I don't know where.  I don't know when.  You probably saw me, and I didn't realize it.  You haven't taken the steps that I have.  You want to, but you don't know if you can.  That's okay.  I understand.  It ain't easy.  I can only tell you I've done what I know is best for me.  For you, it depends on you.  You may not want to, no matter how it makes you feel inside.  Then again, you may.  Whatever you do, as long as you are true to yourself, I support you.  I will never call you a fag or a freak.  I won't laugh at you.  And if you see me on the street, you can talk to me if you want.  I won't ignore you.

Finding The Perfect Mommy Domme

I've been thinking about this for a bit now.  A specific type of Mistress.  The "Mommy Domme" if you will.  I know this term can cover a wide range.  I'm not specifically talking about adult baby and that type of thing, NOT that I'm saying it's bad if you enjoy that.

I've just been thinking.  There's a beautiful Lady I know who is a dream come true for a lot of sissies and CD's.  Believe me, when she can make Her dream come true, you will love it.  She cares about girls like us.  Has a real passion in fact.

I have spent a lot of time on the net through the years talking to sissies, encouraging and even helping them where I can.  The new ones especially.  I want everyone to be as girlie as they want to be.

I've had it suggested to me that I become an online T-Girl Mistress.  I'm still thinking it over.  I try to offer advice to those trying to find their way, and I think I could be useful in that area.  It's also been suggested that I start training for it as a sub.  Funny thing is I've really never considered any of this for me, other than a general fascination with some aspects of the lifestyle (I'm editing two erotic novels on the subject).

I'm generally very soft core.  My friend is a Mommy Domme type.  She loves the lifestyle and has helped many people get in touch with the girl inside them.  She's mature, but still beautiful and very intelligent.

And that gets me to here.  What is a Mommy Domme?  To me, some of the things I think make a good Mommy Domme (again, not the adult baby type):

1-Motherly, meaning loving, but firm.  Don't disobey her, or you will be punished.  Listen to what she says because she knows best.  You want to make your Mommy happy to gain Her approval.

2-You will be punished if you don't obey.  This means spankings for one.  If it's an online setting this will call for creativity.

3-Mommy will help you get started in dressing.  What to wear.  Things to buy first.  Steps on what to wear out of the house first.  Maybe that's panties and a cami under male clothes or more than that.  She has your best interest at heart and isn't trying to humiliate you, though you may feel that way at times.  She's trying to get you to truly accept that you are a sissy.

4-Mommy's expectations.  Online, since she can't see you in person, you will have a digital camera at least and preferably a video cam.  Mommy Domme will want to see proof that you are obeying her wishes.  Video camming is for one on one sessions, decisions and discussions.  Including other things mentioned below.

5-Be truthful from the start.  Mommy expects complete honesty from her sissy.  She can't help you if she doesn't know what it is you want, so speak up.  Then, do as she says.  Shes trying to help you get what you want.  At session's end you can talk about how you feel about all of this and if there is something you'd like to see or don't like.  If you start topping from below, you're gonna mess it up for both of you.  Honesty is expected and DEMANDED.

6-Chastity.  In person it's a lot easier, but it's possible online too by mailing the key in a secure package (no cheap envelopes).  Maybe the key is only with her for a day before she mails it back, maybe longer.  Once you've trusted Her, it's Her decision to know what's best for you.

7-Toys.  Mommy Domme may include toys in this if this is a wish of yours.  She will likely require proof.  You may need a dildo or a butt plug or both.  She will instruct you on how to do this.  You may be asked to leave the house with a plug inserted for brief periods of time.

8-Assignments-Mommy Domme may instruct you on things to do or things to buy at the store.  It may be lipstick, panties or whatever She sees fit.  It is meant to help you, and proof will be required. 

9-Naughty Assignments-If you've asked for help on this, She will do her best to guide you. At times this may include cell phone conversations.  You may be wanting to taste your own cum, and Mommy Domme will guide you to that big step.  You may want to taste somebody else's, and She will help guide you to that.

10-Positive Reinforcement-Mommy Domme differs a little in the way she does this than the average Domme.  She's not trying to humiliate you, though She can chose to do so.  She's trying to guide you with her approval and disapproval of how you are doing.  If you fail, she will tell you that you have disappointed her.  If you are successful, you will hear how very proud she is of you.

You will want to please her by doing it right the first time.  You don't want to be punished.  If it's online we are talking about, not only might She verbally berate you for being a disappointment.  She may deny access to her (as in restrictions) for a certain period of time.  She may ask you to think about what you've done during that time or do a video or write a letter telling her why you are sorry for displeasing her.

11-Loving Mommy.  This may get a little kinky at times.  You want to please Her any way you can.  If She deems the time is right (it's not up to you), you may show her or tell her what you will do to make her feel loved and appreciated by you.

12-Respect.  Above all is RESPECT.  If you find your Mommy Domme (or any Domme really) you must show Her respect at all times.  She is a Goddess to you, so treat her as such.  Don't tell Her what to do.  Tell her what it is you are looking for and trust her that She will see to it that you get the things you need to bring your girliness to the forefront, where it belongs.

Well, those are my thoughts Anyway.  Feel free to add to it if you want.

Hi There Sissy

Just as a note, this is a taste of some of the "naughty" areas these writings can go.  Due to the nature of the site we are using, we probably won't be going here too much.  However, we have over 30 articles already written (some much steamier than this) for when the official page comes up and we start our new blog there. In the meantime...

Hey you.  I see what you're up to.  I know your secret.  You think you're hiding it, but you aren't.  At least not very well.  It's okay sweetie.  I understand.  You see those beautiful women out there and you admire everything about them, the way they walk, the way they talk, the clothes they wear, the way they do their makeup and hair.  You wonder what it would be like to be her.

It sticks with you, like a sliver in your mind or in your very soul.  You think you must be crazy for thinking such thoughts.  You try to make them go away, but they won't.  You can't help it, no matter what you do.  Try as you may, your desires slowly take over.  Why fight it?

You lay in bed at night thinking about being that beautiful woman and having a man in bed with you.  Could you?  "I'm not supposed to think such thoughts.  They're wrong, aren't they?"

It's too late.  You're hooked.  You want to feel a man's penis in your mouth, growing harder as you suck it and lick it.  If he ejaculates, will you swallow?  You want to swallow.  But what if he wants to bend you over and make you his woman?  Will you submit?  You want to submit.  The throbbing in your panties gives the ultimate answer.  You masturbate alone, dreaming of the day it becomes real.  "I shouldn't be thinking this, " you tell yourself, but you no longer want to fight it.

Panties and bras under your clothes, painted toe nails.  A Cami under your shirt and women's jeans.  You even have a subtle shade of lipstick you wear, thinking nobody will notice, but you're not so sure.  A woman smiles as she walks by.  Does she know?  A couple of girls giggle.  "Are they laughing at me, " you wonder.

You practice your makeup skills at home in one of your dresses.  You pose in front of the mirror.  You wonder, "Do I look pretty?"

You have a feminine name for yourself.  You haven't told anybody you know, other than a person or two online.  But, you dream of the day you can introduce her to the world.  The idea excites you.  It scares you.  It consumes you.  It won't go away.

I see you sweetie.  I understand you.  I know who you are.  Don't be afraid and don't be ashamed.  It's okay dear.  Your day will come.  Be proud of who you are.  You are not alone.  In a perfect world, girls like you could come and go without fear of being hurt or shunned by society.  In a perfect world, society wouldn't place boundaries on the the self expression of anybody.  As long as you don't harm another, what does it really matter?

Stay strong, girlfriend. People do understand and accept you.  Your day will come.

A Sissy Shopping Experience With A Genetic Woman

For a lot of us girls, this is just a fantasy we'd like to make real.  Some of us have been lucky enough to have it happen.  Some get to do it all the time.  I'm talking about going shopping with a genetic woman.  I'll never forget the first time I did.

When I first started dressing up, it was in my sister's old clothes, but I had a lady friend who was going to take me shopping.  The problem was she was never healthy enough to go, so after waiting a month or so I just went shopping myself.  Went into a women's clothing store, asked the lady if it was okay to do so and started shopping.  I wish the blue dress would have fit me.  I headed next door for heels next.

Most of my trips have been that way, but another friend asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her at Avenue.  They are right at the edge of my size, but she told me I could get some things that would fit.  Plus, she had a nice coupon for me, and I would spend over $100 that day.

I'll never forget my long nails were painted in a pretty burgundy, fingers and toes.  When we walked into the store, she told them I was her friend and kept pointing out my pretty nails to the ladies.  She did everything to help make me comfortable there, which I was.  So we spent a couple hours shopping.  She asked my opinion on some things and I asked hers.

Just a couple girlfriends shopping.  I was looking at this pink dress.  She thought I should get a dress, but she thought this fitted pink, black and white dress and pink shrug would be better on me.  So, I grabbed it.  The shrug didn't fit, so we had to go to the other Avenue for that.

But, she and I shared a fitting room.  No hangups, because we're just trying on clothes.  The ladies didn't say a thing.  I tried on the dress, and it did fit.  It's a pretty dress, so I got it along with some tops and a couple pairs of cute flip flops.  The funny thing is this dress is more suitable for going to church, and I don't go to church.  It is a pretty fitted dress though.

But what I'll always take away from that day was just feeling like one of the girls and having a fun time shopping with her.  We went shopping together a few more times.  Most of the time I've gone alone, so these were fun times.  We spent hours at JCPenney in a few different towns one might before Christmas a few years ago.  Lingerie, skirts, another dress, more cute tops.  Happy memories.

I will say if you are lucky enough to have a genetic woman offer to go shopping with you, don't pass up the opportunity.  It's a fun experience.  At least it was for me.  I had another lady friend offer to take me to get my nails done with her, but it never happened.  I grow my nails long and paint them myself, but this would have been fun to do.  Maybe next time.

Guilt And Shame Will Haunt Many Crossdressers And Sissies

You see it on TV and in the movies.  People who are in the T spectrum, from CD all the way to transgender, are the butt of the jokes.  Their identity is mocked and ridiculed as if they have no value whatsoever.  Well, I'm here to tell you that is total BS, but it's what some people think.

You get it from religion too.  You are going to "hell" if you are transgender or gay.  Really, and you know such a place exists for sure and exactly who is going?  You know so much, don't you?  Look around sweetheart, we're not exactly in a paradise right now.  In fact, to some in the T community, this is hell on earth.

So, the judgements from religion spill over into the mainstream and that hate is thrown by non religious people as a result.  Then you get the mockery from the TV and movie industry and even some in the media.

What follows is guilt and shame in the Trans Community.  "There must be something wrong with me" is a common thought.  "I'm a bad person and I'm going to hell" or "I'm a freak" are common thoughts too.  It ads up to the feelings of guilt and shame that some feel.  They are very conflicted about all of this and fight a constant inner battle.

So, the judgement of others only feeds into this, causing many to hide this side of themselves away in order to be accepted as a "normal" person.  They want it to go away, but it won't.  He may be in his room just imagining being dressed as a woman or even being a woman.  This turns him on and he pleasures himself.  Immediately, guilt sets in and those three words, "Am I gay?"

It's crucial to understand at this point that being gay is not a bad thing.  If you are gay, that's only one part of you anyway.  So, you want to be with somebody of the same gender?  Go find the love that you seek and live your life.  This is why the T is in LGBT.  In reality, many who transition and date as they are transitioning don't consider themselves gay.  They are women born in the wrong body.

To a CD, however, this is a real head screwing.  Maybe this person graduated from thinking about it to wearing the clothes in private.  So, they get pleasure from it, sexual, spiritual or whatever.  Then, guilt moves in and they have to make it go away.  They end up throwing those clothes away and swear they will never do it again.

And they try hard not to.  They intend to keep that promise and rid themselves of this so called "perversion" once and for all.  But, they can't help how they feel.  Being in touch with their feminine side or transitioning is not something they can deny.  The feelings never go away, and the urge to dress up comes back stronger. 

There is another part of this story that makes the struggle even harder.  The CD tries to bury this for his girlfriend or wife.  He does it for her at the cost of something dear to him.  He reasons he can do it because he loves her, and for a while that is the case.

Maybe the urges start when he's looking at her in a pretty outfit or when she's dressing up and putting on new lingerie.  His own urge to dress up pretty resurfaces, but there's a problem .  What will she think about it?  He doesn't know what he'll do if he loses her over this.  Plus, what if she over reacts and starts telling everybody about him?

The internal struggle continues, but he reasons he will only dress up a little when she is gone.  He might play in her clothes if they fit, but he also knows that's a good way to get caught.  On some level, he wishes she would catch him and react in a way written in an erotica story, but he's heard the horror stories.

So, he buys some lingerie, maybe a dress or a skirt and blouse.  He has a place to stash the stuff.  He loves it more than ever, but this isn't satisfying his urge.  He wants to go out dressed up.  He wishes she would do this with him, but he's in too deep now.  He can't risk it.  He can't risk her leaving him.

So, he goes out for a makeover or is good enough at makeup to do it himself.  His inner girl is now on display in public for everybody to see.  Of course, this leads to more dishonesty, and the deeper he digs himself, the more likely it will be that she reacts badly when she finds out.

And, it all started with the guilt and shame one feels when dealing with all of this.  It's like a scale balancing back and forth between the guilt and shame and self acceptance.  It would be a refreshing change if the day came when this wasn't a big deal, and a husband could openly share this side of himself with the woman he loves.  Maybe one day we'll get there.

Mistress Has A New Recruit

On Twitter I decided to play around with the idea of a Twitter Story.  I just wanted to see if I could do it 140 characters at a time.  It was challenging, but during a three of four week time period I posted the following story.  It was basically the story of an unsuspecting guy meeting an attractive lady at a bar.  It takes an interesting turn from there.

She was sizing him up from across the room. He had potential. He would be hers in no time. He smiled at her, unaware of what was to come...

She insisted on buying drinks. They sat at a corner table. He didn't notice what she put in his drink. He was mesmerized by her and then...

They drank. He was mesmerized by her. He was an open book, just as she wanted. He revealed his deepest desires to her. Everything went dark.

He awoke feeling strange. He realized he was now tied to a bed and he was shocked to see he was wearing lingerie. Was his body hairless now?

She entered the room dressed in black lingerie. She smiled at her sexy victim, "Good morning sunshine. You look good enough to eat. So sexy"

"What did you do to me bitch, " he snapped. She wagged her finger. "Better watch your tone Missy. You're only making it worse." He got quiet

He took a moment to look at her and noticed something different about her. Was she wearing a strap on? "What? What are you gonna do to me?"

She brushed her hand gently across his smooth leg. "Why, dear? Are you scared?" "I'm not gay" he replied. She laughed. "Of course not. Yet"

He stared desperately at her. "Look, I don't remember what I said last night, but I'm sorry if I upset you." "They always beg" she thought..

The fear in his eyes turned her on. She ran her hand through his hair. She had him where she wanted him. "Relax my pet. It will be okay."

"Let me go and I wont tell, " he pleaded. She shook her head. "I can't do that dear. Not when you asked for it." "I did not" he shouted back

She studied his reaction. He thought for a moment and his face went white. Did he really tell her that he needed to be feminized last night?

She laughed. "What's the matter? Did my new pet just realize she asked for this?" He begged her. "Let me go and we'll forget all about it."

"Oh, I can't do that, my dear," she said, brushing her hand gently against his tenting panties. "Besides, you don't want me to now, do you?"

He gulped. His big mouth had really gotten him into trouble. This was always his deep dark secret. Until now. "What are you gonna do to me?"

She looked at him with an evil grin. "Wouldn't you like to know?" "Tell me" he shot back. "What do you want from me?" She shook her head...

"My dear it's not what I want from you but what you want from me " she said, gazing directly into his eyes. He looked at her in desperation.

"I don't want anything from you, " he insisted.  She laughed mockingly.  "Oh, but you do, my dear, and I've decided to give it all to you."

His voice got real low. "What is it you think I want?" She leaned down slowly and seductively to place her mouth next to his ear kissing it.

He could feel her breath as she whispered in his ear. "You want to be a pretty and sexy girl for me. You know it's true. And, you will be."

"I..." She placed a finger over his mouth. "Don't try to fight it my pet. It's gonna happen. Your dreams will come true. I will see to it."

"But, I can't" he protested. "Oh, but you can and will, " she pointed to her strap on. "You see this beautiful thing between my legs..."

He started to panic.  "No, I can't."  She nodded. "Yes, you can, and you will." She kissed him on the lips. "This is how we seal the deal."

He started to speak but she got up and called out the door. "Girls, your Mistress needs your help. I have a new recruit we need to welcome."

There was laughter coming from the hallway. He fought his restraints. "Don't try to fight it, my pet. It will go a lot easier if you don't"

She reassured him as Her girls entered the room. "If you just embrace what's coming you'll enjoy it all. It will be better than the fantasy"

A half dozen girls entered the room, four of them appeared to be sissies, but two were women with strapons. He knew what was about to happen.

She warned him not to fight as he was unbound. He was to be welcomed into her stable, as she called it. He was resigned to his sissy fate.

"I want to hear you beg for it, " she said with a slap on his ass. "Please give it to me Mistress," he whimpered "Make me yours. I need it."

Mistress laughed. "You were mine the minute we met at the bar, my pet. This just makes it official." And so it began...      The End  ; )

You Know He's Cross Dressing Behind Your Back

You see the signs and it has you a little worried.  Your panties or other clothes have been moved around and not where you put them.  Maybe your makeup is out of place.  Your favorite tube of lipstick is used a little more than you recall.  Somebody has been using it, and it could only be one person.

It's your husband or boyfriend.  You are confused and not feeling very comfortable with this.  You want to know why he is doing it.  Is he gay?  Is he some kind of pervert?  Is there something wrong with him?  You love him and want to talk to him about this, but you're not sure how to handle it.

The fact that you are online looking this up before you start getting upset with him is further proof that you want to understand him.  Why is he compelled to dress up in your clothes when you aren't around?  The answer to the third question is there is nothing wrong with him.  Many men out there do the same thing.

It doesn't make him a pervert either, although there is a certain degree of sexual pleasure derived from putting on women's clothes for some men.  And this is the category many of these men fall under.  It's a turn on to them, the way the clothes feel on them.  The fact that they shouldn't be wearing them.

Some men actually want to go out dressed up and be as feminine as they can be.  There may still be a turn on factor, but they want to be seen in public expressing their feminine side.  Some have deeper gender issues and may actually have Gender Dysphoria, feeling as if their birth gender doesn't match the gender in their mind.  This leads to the desire to fully transition.

Your significant other probably dressed up when he was a child or some time before you met him.  He probably started with his mother or sister's clothes.  He did the same thing then, dressing up when nobody was home.  He also dealt with the shame and guilt of it all.

One way that manifested is by him "purging" his collection of women's clothes or throwing them all out.  He wants to make it all go away, and some have thrown out $100's or even $1000's worth of clothes in the hopes that it will all go away.  The desire to dress up usually comes back, stronger than ever.

So, he has likely had these same issues.  He met you and didn't think you would understand.  It's hard for a woman to understand this.  He obviously loves you too much to upset you, so in his mind dressing behind your back will spare you the pain.  However, he may be subconsciously wanting you to find out so you both can talk about it.

That takes us to where we are now.  You are reading this and wondering is there something wrong with him?  Is there something wrong with you?  The answer to both questions is no.  But now that you know, it's time to have a talk with him about this.  He needs this as much as you do.

The best way to proceed is to lay the facts out on the table in a non judgmental fashion.  The only thing expected in this conversation is honesty.  His first step is admitting it to you and then explaining why he dresses up.  Many closeted cross dressers would like nothing more than to dress up with their wife or girlfriend.

Just listen, but expect honesty from him.  You are owed honesty.  How you deal with it is up to you.  What it does to your relationship is up to both of you.  Chances are that he will want to dress more often now that you know this.  Can you deal with that?  It's been known to bring couples closer together and destroy relationships too.

You may tell him not to dress up in your presence.  But you need to be wary of one thing.  If he's not sharing his dress up time with you, he'll likely look elsewhere for companionship during his "girl" time.  It's a very distinct possibility.  Many closeted CD's are doing that already, and the deeper they go, the more secrets they will keep.

This is not the case for everyone, but for many.  And, who does he want to spend time with behind your back?  Another woman?  A Femdom Mistress perhaps?  You can do some research online to see what that means and decide how you feel about it.  In some relationships, the woman will take the lead as he gets more into cross dressing, but not all relationships.  For some it's an intimate game they play behind closed doors.

Is he seeing other men?  It's a perfectly natural desire for some who dress up to fantasize about being with a man at some point.  Some will actually do it, while others will just think about it and don't want to do it.  So, it's a perfectly natural question to ask if he has been with somebody else while dressed.  Expect honesty here.

The compulsion for companionship while dressed has to do with being accepted.  It is a betrayal of the vows to do this, at least in a sexual nature, behind your back.  Some will merely go to support groups or gatherings of a non sexual nature as a way to deal with the urges to dress up.

So, have you been doing this behind my back, for how long, why didn't you tell me and have you been with anybody are all fair questions.  It's important to get the information out there in a non judgemental nature and think about what was said.  You can and should say how you feel about what he said, but give it a day or two to have the bigger talk.  Think about how you are feeling.

Him dressing up in private behind your back is not the worst thing in the world if you have a good and loving relationship.  It's been hard for him to deal with this too, and he's probably fought it for years.  He might even become a more loving and devoted husband to you if you accept it.

Now that you know what's happening, it's up to you how to deal with it.  Don't give in to what "society" expects you to do, but listen to your own heart and go with that.  While you may want to end it, you may find that having a cross dressing significant other is not the worst thing in the world to have.  Whatever you decide, I hope it results in happiness for years to come.

For Many Cross Dressers And Sissies, It Starts With Lingerie

I have often suggested to people who have talked in chat about dressing up that a good place to start is panties and a nightie.  I know many have started by swiping a pair of their sister's or mother's panties or a bra or even a nightie.  My start came years later, but it was with my sister's old lingerie.

It made sense that it would be a bra and panties under my clothes, then a bra and panties under her old clothes, then it was shopping for my own.  More, more more...

Lingerie is the best place to start because you can do that in private and find out very quickly what it means to you and how it makes you feel.

My sister had a pair of red panties and a red lace nightie.  I won't deny the many times I pleasured myself to the thoughts of dressing up and even being a real woman.  So, I pleasured myself when I slipped into her old nightie the first time.

What frequently happens in these cases is the guilt sets in and you get that stuff off of you as quickly as possible.  You feel ashamed.  What would everybody think of you?  This is a hard thing to get past, but frequently people will do this again and again.  Always sorry for what they did, but always coming back.

You know why they come back?  It makes them feel good to be in touch with their femininity.  It is the most amazing thing when that guilt washes away and you are just you.  You accept your feminine side, or the fact that your feminine side may be much bigger than your masculine side.  There really is no wrong answer here.  It's just who you are and what makes you happy.

That night, way back when, I pleasured myself, cleaned up and slept in my nightie. I knew this was more than just a turn on for me.  Of course, I also knew I needed more lingerie, and I went crazy shopping for things.  I'd even buy a bra and panties at The 99 Cent Store.

Body shaving came not long after, and I did it every week to stay smooth.  It's tedious, but I love the feeling.  When I slip into a satin nightie over my smooth body, it's an amazing feeling.  And I don't have to pleasure myself to enjoy that feeling.  I just am.

So, starting with a nightie, panties and even a bra is a good place to get started.  You can get those items very easily and wear them in privacy.  Is it a turn on?  Then enjoy it and be happy.  Is it more than that?  You can explore those feelings further at your own pace.  There is nothing wrong with who you are, so don't be ashamed.  Be proud.

A Crossdresser's Dream Come True

It was your day off from work.  You wanted to spend it with her, but she had work at the office today.  So, you sat on the couch pretending you cared about what was on TV.  You had other things on your mind, didn't you?  Oh, but you have to be sneaky about it, don't you?  What if she finds out?

Finally, she leaves, looking like the beautiful Goddess of your dreams in her black pencil skirt outfit, accentuating her beautiful posterior.  The pantyhose covering her sexy legs down to her feet.  Her black three and a half inch heels.  Her face is gorgeous without makeup, but it looks flawless as she gives you a kiss with those beautiful red lips and heads out the door.

You watch out the window as she drives away.  A whole day to do what you want, and you know exactly what you want to do, don't you?

You dash down the hallway into the bedroom, and you are surprised to notice that all of her makeup is not put away.  In fact, the shades of blue eye shadow and the darker shade of red lipstick you like are right there to be used.  You don't even think about why she didn't put it all away as she usually does.

When you look at the bed, you are taken aback by what you see.  There's a pink lace bra and matching satin lace panties on the bed, next to a red dress.  There are black thigh high nylon hose with lace on the top and garters.  How careless of her to leave that out.  Why would she do that?  This is a work day, not a night out.

You dismiss that idea as you dress down completely and slip of that bra and slide the panties up your smooth legs.  She had talked you into going to get a full body waxing with her at the salon.  It suited you just fine.  You don't know why she wanted you to do that, but why question it?  You consider yourself lucky.

In your bra and panties, you sit at the makeup desk and apply it all.  Some foundation to remove redness around your nose and mouth especially.  Some powder foundation, some bronzer and some blush, but not too much.  Then its the eyes, mascara, eye liner and a smokey eye in blue.  You're a pro at this after so much practice.

You look at the ground and notice a pair of four inch red pumps.  When did she get those?  They look a little bigger that the others.  "Will they fit me?"  You dismiss that thought as you contemplate slipping into that dress.  You remember some shape wear she had before she lost weight.  You've used it before when slipping into her pretty clothes.

After cinching in your tummy a bit with the shape wear, the dress will be a snug, but comfortable fit.  You slip the hose over your smooth legs, careful not to get a run in them.  Then, connect the garters, and then the dress.  Perfect fit.  The heels are next, and now you can't wait.  You have to see yourself in the mirror.

You turn to the full length mirror, amazed at the feminine vision starting back at you.  Just one more thing.  You reach into the closet for her black shoulder length wig.  You turn back to the mirror.  Yes, now it's complete.

A feminine voice from behind you snaps you from your waking dream.  "Oh, good.  You're ready."

You turn around to see your wife smiling at you.  Your face turns white as you struggle to come up with an excuse.  "Don't worry, sweetie.  I know all about you.  You honestly don't think I didn't know you've been playing with my clothes and makeup for a while now, do you?

You still don't know what to say.  Words escape you.

"Don' worry, " she says with a mischievous grin.  "I like having you as my wife, but if you want to do this more often, you're gonna have to follow my rules.  Do you think you can do that?"

You are still speechless, but you nod in agreement.

She hands you a red handbag that she had placed your wallet and keys in.  "Good girl.  Now that that's settled, lets go grab a bite to eat, and then maybe a trip to the salon.  I think it would be fun to get our nails done, don't you?"

How many of you Sissies and CD's out there wish you could have that happen to you?  A few of you are lucky enough to have had that happen.  It's just a dream for most, and you can't even talk about it with her.  It's too big of a risk.  Here are a few ideas on getting the subject of dressing out in the open just to talk about and see how she reacts.

1-Movies With Crossdressing In Them: It's a perfect way to see how she feels about such things.

2-I Know This Guy: You know somebody with a son who dresses that was telling you about it today.  Just the made up facts, not opinions.  Let her react to it first.

3-Go To A Drag Show: A night out for a couple drinks and a drag show.  See how she reacts to it and where that leads the conversation.

4-Halloween/Costume Party: Can be an opportunity to see what sort of reaction she would have to you being dressed up as a maid or a nurse or something like that.

5-TV With Cross Dressing: Same as movies, but there are those daytime shows that have the "Is this a he or she" shows.  Good conversation starter.

These are merely ideas to get a conversation started and see where she is on the idea of crossdressing.  If she reacts badly, you can play it off an nothing.  If she doesn't, you'll know how to proceed.  Maybe it could lead to you dressing up and having fun with her.

ALWAYS remember if you do have a Woman in your life who accepts this, do not EVER forget to show your appreciation to Her for being so understanding.  Do things to make Her happy, whatever that may be.  It's not all about you, you know?

The Writer's Secret By Ann Michelle - Available At Amazon

Last year, I began writing what may turn into three books that I call the Mistress Clara Chronicles.  Actually, it was two books over 40,000 words each and a chapter of a third book that I had plans for but stopped.  This was inspired by somebody I only exchanged a couple e-mails with on a dating site and is loosely based on a few aspects of me and people I know.

It's in editing right now, and though it's two books, I may split it into three books.  It is erotic, sometimes sentimental and romantic, sometimes tame and other times very much goes to extremes that may make people uneasy.  I'm not really into the D/s culture, but it has fascinated me.  When I started writing this book based on a fictional Femdom community in Sacramento, California, I found I was having too much fun to stop.

Anyway...

I believe I was working on the second book when a story crossed my computer screen called The Writer's Secret by Ann Michelle.  I was blown away by Ann's Michelle's writing style, and immediately I just had to e-mail her and tell her my thoughts.  If you know me, you know I tend to get wordy.  Well, she did something unexpected.  She wrote back, just as wordy as me.  And during the time in which she was putting this story up a chapter at a time on a couple websites, we continued to write.

Ann Michelle's tale is of a writer who gets a request that takes him out of his comfort zone.  It is suggested that he start writing about the CD/TV scene and women taking the lead.  He is a bit uncomfortable, but his wife takes the lead as his guide.  It changes the dynamic in the relationship as he gets pushed out of his comfort zone.  The subject of topping from below is brought up as he struggles to go shopping, gets his ears pierced and is entertaining dinner guests (not in the way you think, just read).

What happens frequently in these stories is the man (turned sissy CD) suddenly becomes gay and doesn't want to be with his wife anymore, while she cuckolds him with other men and he eventually falls in love with a man.  People were commenting on each chapter as that line was straddled.  Will it be crossed?  A few uncomfortable readers complained, but most enjoyed the ride.  It's a very good read that will keep you guessing and wondering what's in store for him next.

I'm not gonna give up all the secrets.  You need to check the Amazon link here and buy a copy to support the writer of this amazing story:

The Writer's Secret

I will say that Ann Michelle left enough room for us readers to make our own interpretations of what the character's motivations are.  Plus we can draw our own conclusions in places where we can read between the lines.  And she never tired of my opinions on that subject as we exchanged e-mails.  Thoughts on things such as, did the wife have previous experience in a D/s relationship?  I believe she did, but it's never said for sure.  Were those hormones he was taking?  I can't detail why I sitll ask that question without spoiling things.

She definitely pushes him to the brink, but there are lines she never crosses.  I love this story because of that.  She had a way of dominating him that didn't require true degradation.  But it makes him, and may make you the reader, uncomfortable at times.  But the question on some people's minds was, does she really love him?  I think many readers will be happy with the answer to that, but you will be wondering at times.  Just pick up a copy at Amazon and read it for yourself.  You won't be disappointed.