A Poem: Love And Desire

Love And Desire

I can't have you, but I want you
This is a good place to start
You didn't mean to do it, I know
But you found your way into my heart

I feel the desire, I feel the need
Making me desperate to give in
I want to throw so much love at you
But this is a battle I can't win

It's a Love and Desire inside of me
Something that will never go away
I've given up trying to fight it
But, I can live with it each day

I've walked a path of loneliness
Wondering if I'd find true love
I could surrender, give to you freely
What you have fits me like a glove

We come from different worlds
Traveling greatly different paths
I'm just a babe in the woods
Desperate to find a love that will last

You've lived a life of experience
I've existed in a world of none
Desperate to be close to you
As my mind tells me I need to run

You've been down that road before
You know too well where it leads
A desperate search to find the one
Who will fulfill all of your needs

I'd reach up to the highest star
Just to lay it down at your feet
I'd surely fall on my ass trying
But I would never admit defeat

Even a moment of your time
And then I'm weak in the knees
My mind goes running in circles
Like it has some kind of disease

It comes from a place of Love and Desire
And I want to give it to you twice as hard
My brain tells me I should run away
But my heart tells me let down my guard

I'm helpless though I try to fight it
I don't really know what to do
I'm surely headed for heartbreak
I'll be fine if it's because of you

The Lesson Texas, Florida, Other States Can Learn From Gwen Araujo

I can't keep up with the hate being thrown at the transgender community. It really is mind-numbing to listen to some of the ignorance. If you're going to come at me with a Bible and tell me what God said, save it. You're not speaking for God. You're speaking for yourself and claiming it's God. God will judge us all in the end. And people who say Jesus this or Jesus that and judge transgender people ought to be ashamed of themselves. Read words in the Bible where he said he does not know you and soak in the message.

This is the problem with religion, but not faith. You see, organized religions oftentimes hit you with an agenda that deviates from the message of God and Jesus. It happens. It's one of the reasons I distrust churches, although I know they do good things for communities. I think a person's spirituality is their own. Their relationship with God is unique to them, and they don't have to peacock or grandstand around others to show how pious they are. I also believe God, Jesus loves all people, even the LGBTIQ and specifically the transgender community.

Let me hit you with some truth here. People don't become transgender because somebody put a silly idea in their heads. However, if you try to suppress them and force them into a box when they are transgender, you can do great damage to them in the long term. This is a lesson that we have learned through the years. There was a young girl of 10 years old who did a video, I believe in Florida. As they say, she was assigned boy at birth, but she's a girl. Her parents aren't fighting it, and that's a good thing.

I don't know why God creates transgender people, but I know it isn't an accident. I know it isn't a mistake. God gives us these experiences because He believes we can handle them and we can learn what we need to learn. Really, when you're transgender you learn a lot more about mankind, because there's a lot of hate out there. However, you'll also discover those people capable of showing you tremendous love an acceptance.

Gwen Araujo was murdered on October 4, 2002, and they tried to use the "transgender panic" excuse to get these killers off. Make no mistake, they are killers. They are murderers. In fact, there was a young lady who I won't name here who kind of instigated it and never even got a slap on the wrist for it. A transgender person's life is as valuable as anybody else's life, but we devalue it all the time. People like to dead name them after they have been murdered. They've been out as the women they are, and the obituary will still mention their male name. They will be mocked and ridiculed, and this still goes on in 2022.

I want to talk about how Gwen Araujo relates to what's going on right now. in Texas with this "don't say gay" nonsense. For the longest time, when a family was dealing with a gay or lesbian or even transgender youth, the idea was to guilt and shame them into "acting normal". You wonder why some of the people in their 40s and 50s now are coming out as transgender? A lot of them knew early on, but they felt guilt and shame and suppressed it as best they could. I'm one of them. I understand completely, and that's one of the reasons why I admired Gwen Araujo. She was brave to live her life as she was.

There wasn't a lot of acceptance for the LGBT community back in those days. That changed slowly, but for years they had to do it in private. Even somebody expressing their gender had to do it only in certain places for fear that they'd get beaten. That's what makes the transgender community so important at places like Stonewall. While gay and lesbians might be able to hide in the closet in discomfort in those dangerous times, you weren't hiding being transgender very well, were you? If you were expressing it, they saw you.

So by the time Gwen was coming out as trans and openly admitting it at 14 years old, her mother Sylvia Guerrero accepted her. However, she didn't know what needed to be done. There was no handbook. We were just starting to see more people who were transgender, although a lot of times in the media and entertainment, they were the jokes. We started seeing that they at least existed.

It wasn't easy for Gwen as she dealt with wanting to express herself as a girl in a boy's body. She wanted to put on lipstick at school and dress like any other girl would. Even if people were telling her it was wrong, she only knew how she felt.

What put those thoughts into her head? The reality is that's how she was born. She was always different, even as a little boy. As she grew up, it became more apparent. Sylvia didn't know how to deal with all of it, and she reacted as other parents might. Tearing down the feminine posters and the feminine decorations in her bedroom, removing her makeup supplies. All of that, because she didn't want to deal with Gwen. Where was Eddie? She even told the gender therapist not too speak with her again. But Sylvia realized it was wrong to do that.

All she knew was how to love her daughter just the way she was, so she took her shopping. She bought her makeup. When Gwen became good at doing hair and makeup, she encouraged her. This was Gwen's dream, to be a makeup and hair stylist of the stars, and there were plans to get her into beauty school.

It's kind of hard to be a mother and deal with your child when the hormones are raging. Now you've got a transgender child, and that's even worse. She feels like a girl, a straight girl, so she wants to be with boys. How do you deal with that? It wasn't gay to Gwen as if that matters.

Sylvia knew that it was dangerous. I think that's why she would be awake at night when her daughter went somewhere, worried about whether she'd come home. Gwen was going to do what a lot of girls at 17 years old were doing. Nobody was telling her it was dangerous and why she needed to be careful. I think Sylvia was trying to be the best mother she could be, but there was no handbook. That's the point.

The education we see now is big. We are learning a lot about what it is to be trans and young. We're also educating people that it's not okay to freak out and beat a transgender person to death. There is no excuse. It's not a mental illness either, and the people who claim it to be should be ashamed of themselves.

It's something bigger. It's just who these children are. It's who Gwen was, but she didn't have the resources around her to help her become the woman she was going to be. She just had her feelings and a mother who did the best she could to understand.

Resources like the LGBTIQ community offer are very necessary. Some people are going to have the knee jerk reaction that if you acknowledge the kids that are different, you're putting messages into other kids heads. You're making them gay and you're making them trans. I used to have a little bit of a worry about that, but it's slowly gone away. You're not putting any thoughts into anybody's heads. However, the education you give to these children is one that helps them accept who they are and know that they are not bad for being different.

It helps them as they grow up and their bodies change, because a transgender woman doesn't want to see the masculine changes. I should say many of them don't, because there are those who don't have a problem with not having certain gender confirming surgeries.

To the ones who are young, odds are more in favor than against that they don't want the masculine changes that are coming. I understand the concern to make them wait a little bit longer, but beating them into submission and telling them they have to be the boy isn't the way to go about it either. Let's have a discussion, but let's not silence the transgender community or the LGBTIQ community. That's harmful to these kids.

All that "don't say gay" does is leave these youths to figure it out for themselves, and that can be very dangerous. We still live in a world full of hate, and this education is part of the process. It's okay to speak about these issues in front of a classroom of a majority of straight children. For one thing, it lets the kids that are a little bit different know that they aren't bad. It also lets the straight kids know that those who are different aren't bad either. It's a message of acceptance and tolerance.

This last part is what hits close to home with me. Gwen just had her 37th birthday a couple of days ago as I write this. Her mother has lived a difficult life with depression in the years that followed. She was a spokeswoman for transgender acceptance for a while, and her message was very needed. It's needed now. However, it's been a struggle for her ever since. I know that Sylvia has seen a lot of the information, and she wishes she knew it then. That information then might have saved Gwen's life. That's the bottom line.

When you think about what we know now, 20 years later, it's not acceptable that we wouldn't be allowed to have these discussions. The children need to know. You're not changing the kids from who they really are, but you're letting the different kids know that they are alright. In a religious sense, God loves them too.

This last part is just a little addition to let you know that if you want to support Sylvia Guerrero as she struggles and help her keep the possessions that belonged to her daughter, there's a GofundMe site. I know she would appreciate it, and maybe somebody could come at her with a hand out to lift her up and get her back on her feet again. God works in many ways, so maybe there is an angel out there for her.

A Dream To Good To Be True

Dedicated to Gwen Araujo

 

In my book Babydoll, the character of Traci is inspired by Gwen Araujo.  Traci met a similar fate to Gwen, but her story took an unexpected and unlikely turn.  I've always had this fantasy of going back and saving her if I could.  And so, with Gwen's birthday happening today I thought I would create a work of fiction depicting what might have happened.  This is NOT an X Rated story.

Gwen has become a face in the transgender rights movement, a reminder of what hate can do.  Her death sparked the movement to grow stronger.  I've marched in four Trans Marches, and this event at the beginning of SF Pride was started in her memory.  Though she is an inspiration for many, including myself, I would much rather not know her and have her be safely with her family right now.

A Dream To Good To Be True

Gwen Araujo walked to her studio apartment. It was a beautiful day in West Hollywood and she loved her job and her life.  It wasn't easy for her sometimes growing up in the Bay Area town of Newark, but she managed to live through it with the love of her family and a few good friends.

The one strange night at Paul Cazares' house in October of 2002 changed her life.  It seemed impossible, but she was living proof.  She never saw the mysterious transgender woman named Candice again, and that was almost 20 years ago.

With the constant encouragement of her mother Sylvia to follow her dreams, she went to beauty school and became even better at makeup and hair than she already was.  Her dream was to be a makeup artist to the stars, and she set out to make that happen by moving to Southern California 15 years ago.

She got her wish.  She did makeup for some stars of stage and on TV.  She was highly recommended, and her success afforded her a nice place and the opportunity to have gender reassignment surgery about 10 years ago.

She had a fun day planned today with her fiancee James.  They had known each other since they met a month after she moved there.  They became good friends before ever becoming lovers.  More of her mother's advice that she should take it slow.  Her mother was actually in town to visit, and the three of them were going to lunch when she got home.

There were lots of people walking here and there on this beautiful, cloudless afternoon when she caught glimpse of this woman walking towards her to her left.  She looked familiar in her red dress and red heels and long brown hair.  "Excuse me, " she said to the lady.  "Have we met?"

The lady, obviously a transgender woman, looked puzzled.  "Um, not that I know of."  

She looked at the lady, dressed in a pretty black dress and black heels, her hair died a flattering burgundy black.  "I think I'd remember you."

She held out her hand to the familiar lady.  "I'm Gwen,"

The lady in red wasn't used to strangers being so forward with her, but she uneasily held out her hand.  "I'm Candice, nice to meet you."

If a light bulb could have appeared over her head, it would have.  Gwen smiled.  "Are you busy, Candice?"

She shook her head.  "No, not really.  I'm just in town seeing the sites.  I'm going to Universal tomorrow and Disneyland the next day.  Why?"

Gwen was no stranger to finding people she didn't know and offering to give them makeovers.  She did it from time to time, not just for the practice, but for the way it made them feel.  "I was wondering if you'd like to come back with me to my house.  I'd like to give you a makeover.  I love your hair, but I think I can make it better."

Candice had never had her hair done before, and here was a stranger offering her a free service.  She couldn't resist.  "Okay, sure."

"This may seem strange, Candice, but I'm sure we've met, " she said as they walked back to her house.

"I don't remember, " Candice replied

She opened the door, and her orange tabby Angel came up to greet her.  "Guys, I'm back, but I was thinking we could order in for lunch.  I have a friend I want to..."

Sylvia walked over to her daughter,  "James had to go handle something at work.  So, who is this, dear?"

Gwen smiled at her mother.  "Mom, this is Candice. I just met her, but I want to give her a makeover."

Sylvia had heard the story over and over, and recalled her daughter's description of the mysterious woman who came to her aid.  There was a part of her that doubted she existed, though she knew something bad was about to happen to her daughter that night. She looked like she saw a ghost.  "Is she?"

Gwen nodded.  "Yes, mom.  It's her.  She doesn't know, but that makes sense.  I don't think she would know."

Candice looked confused.  "Okay, would know what?  This is weird guys."

Sylvia hugged Candice.  "You saved my baby's life, Candice."

Candice accepted the hug, but didn't hug back.  "Okay, somebody needs to tell me something, or I need to go.  This is creepy."

Gwen smiled and took her new friend's hand.  "Come sit down on the couch, and I'll tell you all about it.  Mom, can you get us something to drink please?"

"It was October, 3, 2002, " she began.  "I'll never forget the date.  I was miserable and out to prove a point.  My boyfriend broke up with me, and I wanted to make him jealous.  I wasn't thinking straight.  Mom wanted me to stay home, but I had other plans"


Gwen felt an uneasy vibe.  Her ex didn't show up for the party.  The guys were looking at her kind of funny.  Her friend Nicole was even acting weird.  She entered the bathroom and locked the door behind her.  Maybe it was just the alcohol.

Candice didn't know how this was possible.  She was in a bathtub.  As she peered through the curtain, she saw Gwen Araujo, looking into the mirror and fixing her makeup.  Gwen Araujo?  Here?  How?  The story of her murder burned into Candice's mind from the moment she first heard about it years ago.  How could they murder her?

She knew Gwen was a martyr for the transgender movement.  Books had been written about her and a movie was made.  Through her story, there was more education on transgender issues.  Gwen's mother did several speaking engagements telling the story of her daughter.

But Candice didn't care about martyrs.  Gwen touched her heart.  Gwen's story resonated with her.  She wrote a book in which one of the characters, based on Gwen, was brought back from the other side.  She often thought that if she could go back in time and literally take the punishment to save this young lady's life, she would.

Now, she stood in the bathtub, staring at her.  It occurred to her that this was the night it happened.  "Excuse me, Gwen."

She nervously jumped and dropped her lipstick. "What the fuck?  Oh my God!  Who are you?"

Candice backed up and sat down.  "I just want to talk, Gwen,  I won't make a move and you can have them come get me if you think I'm a threat.  Please listen to me."

"Why the fuck should I listen to you?  I don't know you."

Candice tried to calm her down.  "Shh.  Because, I want to save your life tonight.  They are gonna kill you if you don't get out of here."

She laughed, incredulously, "Get the fuck out of here."

Candice shook her head. "No, I'm serious, Gwen.  You've been having sex with them and you are transgender.  You were born a boy."

Gwen's face got red.  "How do you know that?  Who told you?"

"Easy, sweetie. I'm not the one you need to worry about.  I'm trans too, if you haven't noticed.  But, have you thought about what it would be like if one of the boys you were intimate with found out?"

Gwen paused for a moment.  "They might not like it.  My mom told my ex about me, and he left me."

She nodded.  "Exactly.  When a guy finds out about this, he's not always so understanding about it.  He'll get violent sometimes, and Gwen, there's four of them out there."

The transgender teen's face turned white.  "Oh my God.  What do I do?  What do I do?"

There was a knock upon the door.  It was Nicole.  "Lida, are you okay?  Let me in there.  I've got to go."

"Um, I'll be out in a minute.  Give me a minute."

"Don't fall in, " Nicole replied with a laugh.



Nicole returned to the guys in the living room.  "She's still in there.  I'll get her out of there if she doesn't come out in a few minutes."

Jaron looked over at Michael.  "Are you saying you got your dick sucked by a guy?"

"Nobody's saying anything, " Jose replied.  The dark skinned man was noticeably agitated, but trying to keep calm.  "Look, we'll find out the truth in a minute."

"I ain't no faggot, " Michael said as he looked over at Jose.  Michael was the tough guy of the group with his shaved head and goatee.  "And you ain't either.  We were tricked."

"Look, calm down guys, " said Jaron.  "Let's not lose our heads."

Nicole shook her head.  "I don't know, guys.  If she... If he tricked you, you have a right to be pissed."



Gwen looked desperately at Candice.  "So, what do I do, Candice?"

She pointed to the window. "You climb out that window and run to the nearest safe place.  And, you avoid these people like the plague.  Oh, and listen to what your mother is trying to tell you.  She loves you, you know?"

Gwen went to the window.  "We'd better get out of here then."

Candice shook her head.  "No, I cant go."

"Why not?  They'll hurt you too."

"Because I need to be here long enough for you to get away.  Don't worry about me, Gwen.  Get out of here."

Gwen looked at her.  "Will I ever see you again?"

She shook her head.  "I don't know.  Probably not.  If I do this right, I won't even remember you, and people may think you're crazy if you tell them what I told you."

Gwen hugged Candice.  "Thank you.  I'll never forget you."

"Go.  Get out of here, " she said as Gwen climbed out the window.  Candice waited for a few minutes and took a breath.  "Here goes nothing."

Nicole was at the door, about to knock, when Candice opened it.  This was when everything was put into motion in the original time line.  Nicole exposed Gwen then.  "Who the fuck are you, " Nicole asked angrily?

"I'm Candice, " she replied holding a hand out.  "Nice to meet you."

"What the fuck?  Guys, get in here."

Candice smiled.  "Oh, and in case you wondered, I was born a male."

"Well, duh,  " she replied sarcastically.

Michael looked at Candice.  "Who are you?"

"I'm your guardian angel.  I've come to save you guys from doing something very stupid and spending time in jail."

Jose walked up to them.  "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I think you boys know exactly what it means, " Candice replied.  "You guys were planning to kill her tonight."

"Whoa, hold on, " Jaron interrupted.  "Nobody was killing anybody here."

"Sure you were.  You were about to go into a rage over Gwen."

Micheal looked at his friends.  "We don't know what you're talking about.  We just had some questions about..."

"Whether she was a man or a woman, " Candice interrupted?

Jose was nervously playing with his keys.  "Well, yeah, if she tricked us, I think we have a right..."

"To kill her, " Candice interrupted?

"To be pissed off, " Michael replied, getting annoyed with this stranger.

"Does it really matter, guys?  You had moments of pleasure.  Can't you just leave it at that?"

"If she's a guy, people will think we're gay, " Jose replied.

Candice shook her head.  "Who will think you're gay?  Who really cares who you guys sleep with?  And, if she happens to have been born a guy, doesn't she still look pretty as a girl?"

Jaron nodded.  "She has a point guys."

"That's not a she, dude.  That's a guy."

"Look, all I'm saying is that some people are born with male bodies who identify as women, " Candice explained.  "They're women who are attracted to guys like most genetic women.  It's not gay to them."  Candice had no idea if this would work as Michael still looked pretty angry.

"That's no reason to trick a guy, " said Jose.

"You may be right, " she replied.  "But she wasn't so much tricking anybody as trying to prove something to herself.  She just lost a boyfriend because he found out the truth.  It's no excuse, but..."

Micheal pushed Candice.  "We don't have to listen to a fag, and since nobody invited you here..."

"Yeah, " Jose added.  "I don't recall you being invited."

Michael pushed Candice to the floor.  "That means you are breaking and entering.  We have a right to, " he kicked Candice, "defend our house."

There was a knock on the door.  "Jose, see who that is."

Candice started to yell and Michael put his hand around her mouth.  "Dude, this isn't cool.  Let her go, " said Jaron.

"Shut the fuck up, Jaron."

Jose shouted back to the hallway.  "Guys, it's the police."

Michael got up and led the others to the door.  "Oh shit."

Officer Taylor and his partner Officer Johnson were in the living room."We got a call that there was a woman in danger here, gentlemen."

Nicole smiled  "I'm fine, officer.  We're just hanging out."

"Just the same, we'd like to search the house."  The two police officers carefully looked around the house as Jose followed them.

"What are we gonna do,"  Jaron whispered to Michael?

"Shut up, " he replied.

The police found no sign of Candice.  "Okay.  Sorry to disturb you guys, but we have to follow up on these things.  You understand?"

"Of course officer, " Jose replied.  "Have a good evening."

"Dude, where did she go, " said Jaron, looking down the hallway.

Micheal shook his head.  "It doesn't matter guys.  This never happened, understand?  We never did anything with Lida.  It's all just between us."



Candice took a sip of orange juice.  "So, you're telling me I went back in time somehow and saved your life?"

Gwen nodded.  "I know it sounds crazy..."

"Time travel is impossible.  You know that, right?"

Sylvia smiled.  "My baby is pretty sure it was you, Candice.  I know it sounds crazy, but..."

Candice nodded.  "Just a little bit.  But, if I did, that would be cool.  Anyway, what's all this about a make over?"

Gwen smiled.  "Girl, I've got just the look in mind for you.  I'm thinking burgundy brown for your hair.  I like your eyes, but the shadow is all wrong for you.  I can fix that.  You're gonna look gorgeous.  When we're done, you have to go out to dinner with us."

And so it was that Gwen lived to pursue her dreams. She became known for her impressive skills in the field of makeup and hair.  Some of the stars of Hollywood knew her and requested her services. She finally had the life she wanted.  Sadly, this was a dream, but Gwen's story still touches lives every day.

February 24th would have been her 37th birthday.

Let Me Show You How Fake I Am

 Let Me Show You How Fake I Am

Kimberley sat at her computer, browsing the sissy web site. She wore some red lipstick and a red panty, bra and nightie combination. She was engaged in a little bit of naughty talk with a few sissies in the chat room when a knock came upon her door.

She hastily ran to the front door to peer through the peep hole. An attractive woman with long black hair stood there, holding a duffel bag. The lady knocked on the door again. "Kimberly, are you there, " she asked?

"How does she know my girlie name, " she wondered as she went back to her bedroom and threw on a big black t-shirt and shorts, not even bothering to remove her lingerie. The sissy caught a glimpse of his lipstick in the mirror and wiped it off.

Only when he opened the door did he realize he hadn't removed his red false fingernails or the matching toenail polish. He opened the door and leaned in the doorway with his right-hand dangling down at his side. "There's nobody here named Kimberly, Miss... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

The lady smiled. "Oh, I think I have the right address, " she said with a grin. "My name's Rebecca."

Kimberly thought about the Mistress Rebecca, whom he and the sissies were giving a hard time in the chat room at the sissy website. He was particularly hard on the woman, and for good reason. Another fake Mistress on the site took him for $200, and Miss Rebecca had the same sort of suspicious profile.

"I'm sorry, Rebecca. There is no Kimberly here. Is there something I can help you with?"

The lady had the prettiest blue eyes and the sweetest voice. She noticed Kimberly's nails and reached out to touch her hand. "Those are pretty. Did you do them yourself?"

The sissy's face turned red. "I, um..."

Rebecca giggled. "It's okay, sweetie. I know there are some special guys who like wearing pretty things, including long painted nails. We call those guys sissies."

He stood there, unsure of what to say as the lady pushed her way past him. "May I come in?"

"Uh, " he turned around. "Sure, okay."

She sat her bag on the coffee table and turned to face him. "The reason I came here is because I understand you think that any Mistress on the internet is fake."

"What? I think you have me mistaken..."

"There's an easy way to solve this, Kimmie, unless you are a scared little sissy. Are you a scared little sissy?"

He turned red with embarrassment, and his cock betrayed him as it sprang to life in his shorts. "I'm not a..."

She glanced at his bulge. "Sure, you're not, " she said mockingly

He pointed to the door. "Look, I think you need to leave."

She took an authoritative tone. "Shut the door, you're causing a scene, and I will not be embossed by a dirty little sissy like you."

He was shocked by her tone, and he nervously shut the door. "Look, I..."

"You will not speak unless spoken too, is that clear?"

He nodded.

You know better than that, sissy. How do you address a superior Mistress?"

"Yes, Miss Rebecca. I'm sorry:"

"I may have to spank you for that, " she said as she stared him in the eyes. "Now, I think you're wearing lingerie underneath those clothes. Probably something red. I know you like red. You didn't get all the lipstick off, by the way. What a careless little sissy. If I'm wrong and it's male underwear, I'll leave."

"It is male underwear..."

"You little liar. Take off the shirt and shorts."

He tried to protest, but she wasn't listening as he removed the shorts and shirt, revealing a short red Babydoll, bra and panties. "I knew it. You little sissy."

She reached into her bag. "What are you doing, Miss Rebecca?"

She pulled out a pink chastity device. "The way I see it, you cost me two sissies today and I don't know how many more thanks to your stupid rants on the website."

Look, I..."

She slapped his face. "Don't even start with me. I'm gonna take it out of you with your servitude. And you are gonna tell all of those little sissies at the site what a good Mistress I truly am."

"Look, if that's what this is all about, I..."

She slapped his face again and knelt to put the chastity cage on him. The problem was, he was rock hard. "Pathetic. You're actually turned on at the thought of being my sissy bitch, aren't you?"

He nodded. "Yes, Mistress."

She reached into the bag and pulled out a strap on harness with a six-inch dildo attached to it. "Well, it's obviously not going on this way, but I have an idea. Why don't you bend over that chair over there, sissy?"

"What are... What are you gonna do, " he asked, already knowing the answer?

She laughed. "What do you think happens to little bitches like you, " she asked as she put on the harness and put on a black latex glove?

He protested. "You'd better get in your place now, sissy, or I will not be gentle. I need to fuck that hard on off of you, and this is the only way you're getting it from me."

He pulled down his panties and bent over the chair. "Please be gentle."

She stepped up behind him and lubed up his sissy pussy with her gloved hand. "You think you deserve a gentle touch from me?"

"I'm sorry, but you know what happened to me."

"So, that makes me a bad person for trying to help you worthless sissies out?"

She pushed her rubber cock up against his tight hole. "I'm sorry, " he begged. "I meant no disrespect, it's just that..."

She pushed inside his pussy hole, suddenly. He screamed. "Ow, God. Please, I'm sorry."

"No, you're not, " she said with a laugh, "but you will be."

She shoved it in as far as she could as tears came into his eyes. "Please, it hurts."

"Shush, " she said with laugh. "You're gonna upset your neighbors. Just relax and welcome my cock into that sissy hole of yours. Your pussy is mine now."

He tried to get used to his hole being violated as she encouraged him. "That's it. If you're gonna be my sissy, you need to learn how to take my cock, or anything else I allow into your holes."

"Oh God, you don't have to do this."

She kept thrusting in deep. "We need to do this until you cum and get rid of that nasty bulge. So maybe you should start stroking that useless sissy clitty of yours."

He protested. "I haven't had any complaints before."

She laughed. "That's because the women you've been with don't know any better. Now, stroke it, but don't cum until I give you permission."

He started stroking it, but he already felt like he could cum as he was starting to feel pleasure from her strap on cock. "Mistress, I'm gonna..."

"Don't you fucking dare, " she warned him as she shoved it in as far as it would go, and he yelled. "I control your clitty from now on, and you cum when I say so. Is that clear, sissy Kimmie?"

"Oh, yes Mistress. Please, yes."

She grabbed an empty glass and handed it to him. "What a messy place you have, leaving glasses around like this. You'd better clean a hell of a lot better for me, Missy. Catch your cum in that glass."

"Oh, fuck. May I please cum, Mistress?"

She smiled. "Good girl. That's much better. Yes, you may cum, but catch it in that glass."

He moved the glass in front of his cock and was surprised by how much he came. "Oh, thank you Mistress. Thank you."

"Whose ass is this?"

"Your ass Mistress."

"Who do you serve?"

"You Mistress. I'm your sissy."

She pulled out. "We'll see if you're worthy to be considered a sissy of mine, but you will serve me. Stand up, slut."

He stood up and looked at her with his ass on fire. She grabbed some wipes from her bag and used her gloved hand to wipe his cock. Then, she attached the chastity cage as he stood there watching with the glass in his hand.

She grabbed his caged cock. "Much better. Now it's my cock, or should I say clitty? You won't be cumming until I say so. You see the three keys on my necklace?"

"Three?"

She laughed. "You didn't think you were the only one did you, silly? You're not that special, but maybe you can change that."

"Look, this is all well and good, Miss Rebecca, but I can't..."

"Would you shut up and drink your cum before it gets cold, " she ordered. "I want to see that glass emptied. Looks like you gave yourself a good dose of sissy juice."

He held the glass up and drank it. "How does it taste, sissy?"

His face went red, and he couldn't believe he was already fighting the chastity with his excitement. "Okay, I guess."

"Get used to it, " she said with a smile. "When you cum from now on, you will eat it all. I need to get you ready for when I have you servicing people for me."

"Servicing, " he asked nervously?

"That's right, Kimmie. I have you figured for an oral sissy, maybe more, and I bet you could do really well for me too."

"I, um..."

She giggled as she reached into the bag. There was a pink maid's uniform inside, which she handed to him. "We'll talk about that later. This is your uniform for when you clean my house. Hopefully you can cook something too or learn how. I need a good sissy who can cook."

"Clean house?"

She glanced around the living room. "From the looks of this place, you don't like cleaning house, but you'll learn to do it for me if you want to continue to serve me."

He stared at her. "Why would I want to do that?"

"I've read your profile. I know all about you, including some things you don't even know about yourself."

"Like what?"

She laughed. "Oh, no you don't. That's part of the fun, my pet. Now, I expect you to be at my house tomorrow. The address is on the card on the table. You will do what is asked of you, or else."

He was still having a hard time believing this. "Or else what?"

She grabbed a paddle out of the bag. "Or else you will be disciplined. I demand the best from my sissies, and you do want to do your best for me, don't you?"

She rubbed the paddle gently across his bare bottom. "Yes Mistress."

"Good girl. Now, I know you don't have a clue how to do makeup, so we will get you lessons. We'll have to get you some more clothes for when I let you stay in the guest bedroom. I expect you to present as feminine as possible. You are a sissy girl, not a man. Is that clear?"

He was cursing the tightness of the chastity. "Yes, Mistress."

She laughed. "I know your clitty is already aching to get out. I should have brought the plug. I'll be plugging you quite a bit starting tomorrow. We need to start erasing the last shreds of your masculinity."

He said nothing as she pointed to the floor. "I need to go, so why don't you give me a proper goodbye, sissy."

He got on his hands and knees and kissed her beautiful, petite feet in her four-inch pumps, noticing her pink toenails peeking through the open front. He enjoyed worshiping her feet. "Goodbye Mistress."

She opened the door. "Clean the dildo up and bring the bag with everything tomorrow. I expect you to arrive in uniform, ready to serve. There's a sissy handbook in there, so please read it."

She walked out the door and turned around. "Oh, and I know how much you love to write, so do tell all the sissies on the web site how real I am. You know that firsthand now, don't you sissy Kimmie?" She laughed as she walked away.