A Dream To Good To Be True

Dedicated to Gwen Araujo

 

In my book Babydoll, the character of Traci is inspired by Gwen Araujo.  Traci met a similar fate to Gwen, but her story took an unexpected and unlikely turn.  I've always had this fantasy of going back and saving her if I could.  And so, with Gwen's birthday happening today I thought I would create a work of fiction depicting what might have happened.  This is NOT an X Rated story.

Gwen has become a face in the transgender rights movement, a reminder of what hate can do.  Her death sparked the movement to grow stronger.  I've marched in four Trans Marches, and this event at the beginning of SF Pride was started in her memory.  Though she is an inspiration for many, including myself, I would much rather not know her and have her be safely with her family right now.

A Dream To Good To Be True

Gwen Araujo walked to her studio apartment. It was a beautiful day in West Hollywood and she loved her job and her life.  It wasn't easy for her sometimes growing up in the Bay Area town of Newark, but she managed to live through it with the love of her family and a few good friends.

The one strange night at Paul Cazares' house in October of 2002 changed her life.  It seemed impossible, but she was living proof.  She never saw the mysterious transgender woman named Candice again, and that was almost 20 years ago.

With the constant encouragement of her mother Sylvia to follow her dreams, she went to beauty school and became even better at makeup and hair than she already was.  Her dream was to be a makeup artist to the stars, and she set out to make that happen by moving to Southern California 15 years ago.

She got her wish.  She did makeup for some stars of stage and on TV.  She was highly recommended, and her success afforded her a nice place and the opportunity to have gender reassignment surgery about 10 years ago.

She had a fun day planned today with her fiancee James.  They had known each other since they met a month after she moved there.  They became good friends before ever becoming lovers.  More of her mother's advice that she should take it slow.  Her mother was actually in town to visit, and the three of them were going to lunch when she got home.

There were lots of people walking here and there on this beautiful, cloudless afternoon when she caught glimpse of this woman walking towards her to her left.  She looked familiar in her red dress and red heels and long brown hair.  "Excuse me, " she said to the lady.  "Have we met?"

The lady, obviously a transgender woman, looked puzzled.  "Um, not that I know of."  

She looked at the lady, dressed in a pretty black dress and black heels, her hair died a flattering burgundy black.  "I think I'd remember you."

She held out her hand to the familiar lady.  "I'm Gwen,"

The lady in red wasn't used to strangers being so forward with her, but she uneasily held out her hand.  "I'm Candice, nice to meet you."

If a light bulb could have appeared over her head, it would have.  Gwen smiled.  "Are you busy, Candice?"

She shook her head.  "No, not really.  I'm just in town seeing the sites.  I'm going to Universal tomorrow and Disneyland the next day.  Why?"

Gwen was no stranger to finding people she didn't know and offering to give them makeovers.  She did it from time to time, not just for the practice, but for the way it made them feel.  "I was wondering if you'd like to come back with me to my house.  I'd like to give you a makeover.  I love your hair, but I think I can make it better."

Candice had never had her hair done before, and here was a stranger offering her a free service.  She couldn't resist.  "Okay, sure."

"This may seem strange, Candice, but I'm sure we've met, " she said as they walked back to her house.

"I don't remember, " Candice replied

She opened the door, and her orange tabby Angel came up to greet her.  "Guys, I'm back, but I was thinking we could order in for lunch.  I have a friend I want to..."

Sylvia walked over to her daughter,  "James had to go handle something at work.  So, who is this, dear?"

Gwen smiled at her mother.  "Mom, this is Candice. I just met her, but I want to give her a makeover."

Sylvia had heard the story over and over, and recalled her daughter's description of the mysterious woman who came to her aid.  There was a part of her that doubted she existed, though she knew something bad was about to happen to her daughter that night. She looked like she saw a ghost.  "Is she?"

Gwen nodded.  "Yes, mom.  It's her.  She doesn't know, but that makes sense.  I don't think she would know."

Candice looked confused.  "Okay, would know what?  This is weird guys."

Sylvia hugged Candice.  "You saved my baby's life, Candice."

Candice accepted the hug, but didn't hug back.  "Okay, somebody needs to tell me something, or I need to go.  This is creepy."

Gwen smiled and took her new friend's hand.  "Come sit down on the couch, and I'll tell you all about it.  Mom, can you get us something to drink please?"

"It was October, 3, 2002, " she began.  "I'll never forget the date.  I was miserable and out to prove a point.  My boyfriend broke up with me, and I wanted to make him jealous.  I wasn't thinking straight.  Mom wanted me to stay home, but I had other plans"


Gwen felt an uneasy vibe.  Her ex didn't show up for the party.  The guys were looking at her kind of funny.  Her friend Nicole was even acting weird.  She entered the bathroom and locked the door behind her.  Maybe it was just the alcohol.

Candice didn't know how this was possible.  She was in a bathtub.  As she peered through the curtain, she saw Gwen Araujo, looking into the mirror and fixing her makeup.  Gwen Araujo?  Here?  How?  The story of her murder burned into Candice's mind from the moment she first heard about it years ago.  How could they murder her?

She knew Gwen was a martyr for the transgender movement.  Books had been written about her and a movie was made.  Through her story, there was more education on transgender issues.  Gwen's mother did several speaking engagements telling the story of her daughter.

But Candice didn't care about martyrs.  Gwen touched her heart.  Gwen's story resonated with her.  She wrote a book in which one of the characters, based on Gwen, was brought back from the other side.  She often thought that if she could go back in time and literally take the punishment to save this young lady's life, she would.

Now, she stood in the bathtub, staring at her.  It occurred to her that this was the night it happened.  "Excuse me, Gwen."

She nervously jumped and dropped her lipstick. "What the fuck?  Oh my God!  Who are you?"

Candice backed up and sat down.  "I just want to talk, Gwen,  I won't make a move and you can have them come get me if you think I'm a threat.  Please listen to me."

"Why the fuck should I listen to you?  I don't know you."

Candice tried to calm her down.  "Shh.  Because, I want to save your life tonight.  They are gonna kill you if you don't get out of here."

She laughed, incredulously, "Get the fuck out of here."

Candice shook her head. "No, I'm serious, Gwen.  You've been having sex with them and you are transgender.  You were born a boy."

Gwen's face got red.  "How do you know that?  Who told you?"

"Easy, sweetie. I'm not the one you need to worry about.  I'm trans too, if you haven't noticed.  But, have you thought about what it would be like if one of the boys you were intimate with found out?"

Gwen paused for a moment.  "They might not like it.  My mom told my ex about me, and he left me."

She nodded.  "Exactly.  When a guy finds out about this, he's not always so understanding about it.  He'll get violent sometimes, and Gwen, there's four of them out there."

The transgender teen's face turned white.  "Oh my God.  What do I do?  What do I do?"

There was a knock upon the door.  It was Nicole.  "Lida, are you okay?  Let me in there.  I've got to go."

"Um, I'll be out in a minute.  Give me a minute."

"Don't fall in, " Nicole replied with a laugh.



Nicole returned to the guys in the living room.  "She's still in there.  I'll get her out of there if she doesn't come out in a few minutes."

Jaron looked over at Michael.  "Are you saying you got your dick sucked by a guy?"

"Nobody's saying anything, " Jose replied.  The dark skinned man was noticeably agitated, but trying to keep calm.  "Look, we'll find out the truth in a minute."

"I ain't no faggot, " Michael said as he looked over at Jose.  Michael was the tough guy of the group with his shaved head and goatee.  "And you ain't either.  We were tricked."

"Look, calm down guys, " said Jaron.  "Let's not lose our heads."

Nicole shook her head.  "I don't know, guys.  If she... If he tricked you, you have a right to be pissed."



Gwen looked desperately at Candice.  "So, what do I do, Candice?"

She pointed to the window. "You climb out that window and run to the nearest safe place.  And, you avoid these people like the plague.  Oh, and listen to what your mother is trying to tell you.  She loves you, you know?"

Gwen went to the window.  "We'd better get out of here then."

Candice shook her head.  "No, I cant go."

"Why not?  They'll hurt you too."

"Because I need to be here long enough for you to get away.  Don't worry about me, Gwen.  Get out of here."

Gwen looked at her.  "Will I ever see you again?"

She shook her head.  "I don't know.  Probably not.  If I do this right, I won't even remember you, and people may think you're crazy if you tell them what I told you."

Gwen hugged Candice.  "Thank you.  I'll never forget you."

"Go.  Get out of here, " she said as Gwen climbed out the window.  Candice waited for a few minutes and took a breath.  "Here goes nothing."

Nicole was at the door, about to knock, when Candice opened it.  This was when everything was put into motion in the original time line.  Nicole exposed Gwen then.  "Who the fuck are you, " Nicole asked angrily?

"I'm Candice, " she replied holding a hand out.  "Nice to meet you."

"What the fuck?  Guys, get in here."

Candice smiled.  "Oh, and in case you wondered, I was born a male."

"Well, duh,  " she replied sarcastically.

Michael looked at Candice.  "Who are you?"

"I'm your guardian angel.  I've come to save you guys from doing something very stupid and spending time in jail."

Jose walked up to them.  "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I think you boys know exactly what it means, " Candice replied.  "You guys were planning to kill her tonight."

"Whoa, hold on, " Jaron interrupted.  "Nobody was killing anybody here."

"Sure you were.  You were about to go into a rage over Gwen."

Micheal looked at his friends.  "We don't know what you're talking about.  We just had some questions about..."

"Whether she was a man or a woman, " Candice interrupted?

Jose was nervously playing with his keys.  "Well, yeah, if she tricked us, I think we have a right..."

"To kill her, " Candice interrupted?

"To be pissed off, " Michael replied, getting annoyed with this stranger.

"Does it really matter, guys?  You had moments of pleasure.  Can't you just leave it at that?"

"If she's a guy, people will think we're gay, " Jose replied.

Candice shook her head.  "Who will think you're gay?  Who really cares who you guys sleep with?  And, if she happens to have been born a guy, doesn't she still look pretty as a girl?"

Jaron nodded.  "She has a point guys."

"That's not a she, dude.  That's a guy."

"Look, all I'm saying is that some people are born with male bodies who identify as women, " Candice explained.  "They're women who are attracted to guys like most genetic women.  It's not gay to them."  Candice had no idea if this would work as Michael still looked pretty angry.

"That's no reason to trick a guy, " said Jose.

"You may be right, " she replied.  "But she wasn't so much tricking anybody as trying to prove something to herself.  She just lost a boyfriend because he found out the truth.  It's no excuse, but..."

Micheal pushed Candice.  "We don't have to listen to a fag, and since nobody invited you here..."

"Yeah, " Jose added.  "I don't recall you being invited."

Michael pushed Candice to the floor.  "That means you are breaking and entering.  We have a right to, " he kicked Candice, "defend our house."

There was a knock on the door.  "Jose, see who that is."

Candice started to yell and Michael put his hand around her mouth.  "Dude, this isn't cool.  Let her go, " said Jaron.

"Shut the fuck up, Jaron."

Jose shouted back to the hallway.  "Guys, it's the police."

Michael got up and led the others to the door.  "Oh shit."

Officer Taylor and his partner Officer Johnson were in the living room."We got a call that there was a woman in danger here, gentlemen."

Nicole smiled  "I'm fine, officer.  We're just hanging out."

"Just the same, we'd like to search the house."  The two police officers carefully looked around the house as Jose followed them.

"What are we gonna do,"  Jaron whispered to Michael?

"Shut up, " he replied.

The police found no sign of Candice.  "Okay.  Sorry to disturb you guys, but we have to follow up on these things.  You understand?"

"Of course officer, " Jose replied.  "Have a good evening."

"Dude, where did she go, " said Jaron, looking down the hallway.

Micheal shook his head.  "It doesn't matter guys.  This never happened, understand?  We never did anything with Lida.  It's all just between us."



Candice took a sip of orange juice.  "So, you're telling me I went back in time somehow and saved your life?"

Gwen nodded.  "I know it sounds crazy..."

"Time travel is impossible.  You know that, right?"

Sylvia smiled.  "My baby is pretty sure it was you, Candice.  I know it sounds crazy, but..."

Candice nodded.  "Just a little bit.  But, if I did, that would be cool.  Anyway, what's all this about a make over?"

Gwen smiled.  "Girl, I've got just the look in mind for you.  I'm thinking burgundy brown for your hair.  I like your eyes, but the shadow is all wrong for you.  I can fix that.  You're gonna look gorgeous.  When we're done, you have to go out to dinner with us."

And so it was that Gwen lived to pursue her dreams. She became known for her impressive skills in the field of makeup and hair.  Some of the stars of Hollywood knew her and requested her services. She finally had the life she wanted.  Sadly, this was a dream, but Gwen's story still touches lives every day.

February 24th would have been her 37th birthday.