This was something I posted on another site about six years ago as I was beginning my own journey into femininity. Taking it from my head to reality, where I needed to be. I was going to San Francisco to find the location of Divas Nightclub, a bar for the transgender community and admirers.
While I was there, I was taking in the view and observing things. I rather like this column and didn't want it to fade into obscurity, so here it is. Hope you enjoy it.
I finally made it back to San Francisco. It’s been a while. I had a few things I wanted to do. It was a nice day to go there too. San Francisco is a beautiful city, an ugly city and everything in between. I really wanted to soak in more of the sites and sounds this time.
I got off BART at Civic Center. One of the things I wanted to do was consolidate some small BART tickets into bigger ones, and there are three stations on the strip that handle that. I’m pretty well set on BART tickets now.
The irony is I enjoy riding BART, but before my friend moved from Union City to Indiana, I would never get on a train to visit. He always came out this way. I feel like a big jerk about it now when we talk and I tell him about the BART trips I take. Life doesn’t give us "do overs" on this stuff either.
Anyway...
Not far from the Civic Center station, I heard the beating of drums. There was a street musician banging away on the drums. He sounded pretty good too. Overhead, a guy was flying a multi colored dragon kite in the air as we had a pretty good breeze today.
I paused to observe a quote engraved on a wall:
"Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts."
Rachel Carlson
You see people of all races, religions and sexual orientations in San Francisco. It is truly a melting pot of culture. The city was busy as usual and had heavy traffic. People were shopping, tourists visiting, business men and women, plenty of kids as school was out for the week.
If you think you’ve got it bad, come to San Francisco and observe. There are homeless people here, sleeping by some buildings. People looking for a quarter for their next meal. I encountered no aggressiveness, just quiet requests.
I’m not bragging, but I helped a few people with change. How many times in my life do I walk past people without even acknowledging the person in need? Too many times to count.
Pigeons walk the sidewalks. They aren’t afraid. They don’t fly off when you come up on then. They simply move aside. You don’t see a lot of green on the main street. It’s a wave on concrete and buildings that fill the landscape. Some beautiful architecture.
On one corner, there was an African American man and woman dancing to James Brown and having a good time. A white lady joined in while her friend took her picture. They were having fun. I was tempted to join in. I should have. Chicken!
I went to another station to do another ticket. There was a street musician playing Take A Load Off on acoustic guitar. I listened for a minute. He was pretty good. I pitched in a little change. I’ve actually heard some pretty good street musicians in San Francisco and Berkeley in the past.
Checked out a couple DVD places looking for my girl. Not there. Do they have a clue? She should be everywhere. The world should know her. One day they will.
Another reason for coming to town was to locate Divas Nightclub on Post Street. I’m out of my element here, but I wanted to locate the place for my first night time visit to the city. I got lost at first. Always seems to happen to me when I first go looking for some place in an unfamiliar town.
As I walked up the street, I observed people kicking back on the patch of grass on Post Street. The sun was shining and it was a good day to be outside.
There are lots of nice stores to shop for clothes and other stuff. I noticed Victoria’s Secret and a jewelry store. I thought my lady would like something nice from one of these places. I would love to get it for her. Oh wait, I have no lady.
I walked past The Owl Tree and a building that had a gold 666 on a black background. I thought about some of the stuff I’ve heard from Alex Jones and Jordan Maxwell. The old conspiracy stuff. No time for that line of thought today.
There was a red carpet in front of The Kimpton Hotel. I decided to walk the red carpet. A guy came toward me. I didn’t move out of the way like I’ve been known to do. I was feeling like a star. He should move out of my way.
I was getting closer. I saw a pretty lady. I’m not gonna play Maury’s game of is she or isn’t she. She looked like my kind of woman though.
At last I had found Divas. Not too far from the Montgomery Street station. I touched the wall to give my visit a little more meaning. I looked at the schedule on the wall. I wanna dance, so maybe a Friday or Saturday would be fun. Too bad it’s not Friday now. I will be back, but I was happy to be there. What the hell took me so long?
I walked to the corner of Post and Polk and stood there for a few minutes. Some of the people I used to know would make a joke about this. I’m on Polk Street, and I’m happy to be here. I had a guy ask me for money in Spanish.
I recalled one of the few phrases I learned in school, "No comprendo" I’m such a moron. I had two years to learn this. People who can speak more than one language are fortunate, because they can communicate with so many more people.
As I stood there on the corner, a man came up and started yelling at the lady I had seen. I’ve heard about these guys, but I’d never seen one in action. He’s a pimp. It just served to remind me of how ugly the world can be. He didn’t hit her, just yelled. Of course, I don’t know what happened when they rounded the corner.
This got me to thinking. If women like her are so bad, what does that make the pimp or the john? Nobody is better than anybody else. Yet you have whore thrown around at these women like they are less than human.
When she is with somebody, the feeling is good for both of them. But she gets stuck with that label and the john goes back home like nothing ever happened. What has the pimp really done, except get paid for treating the woman like trash and taking her money?
We all have to do what we have to do in this life, but that doesn’t make you any better than anybody else. Everybody has dreams, even this lady today. I can’t possibly know what she is going through. I can say I hope she gets through this time in her life and gets to a place that makes her happy.
My journeys may take me to a woman like her, but I will tell you right now. She ain’t no whore in my eyes. She is a lady. She will be treated as such. If we only share a night together, we will be lovers that night. It will be a positive experience for both of us. Call me deluded. Call me romantic. It’s just how I feel.
I walked down by the market place and the ferry boats. I got a chance to look out over the water for a few minutes. My day in San Francisco was just about over. I watched a boat sail away. The market place was filled with the pleasant smells of food and coffee. There were lots of people coming and going.
As I left the market place, I spotted a man and woman (husband and wife?) dancing the tango with nobody else around. She was wearing a red dress and looking sexy. It was a beautiful moment.
The kids were out skateboarding off to the side and shredding away. They looked like they were having fun and they were not bugging anybody. I had to go back to the Embarcadero station, but I will be back.
I sit here on the train writing while this is all still fresh in my mind. I enjoyed being in the city today. I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish and took my mind off of negative thoughts. I needed a break from the routine.
I feel good and a little inspired right now. Nothing like a day away from home to get you out of a rut. I complain a lot, but I am really lucky to have what I have in life. And I have the capability of changing things in my life for the better. I will continue to do my best.
