When you think about it, it can be very overwhelming to take these feelings we have within ourselves, these fantasies, and make them reality. I mean, how do you even begin? Some may have a sister to "steal" panties or other clothes from, hoping not to get caught. Some may have wives or girl friends. Others maybe took their mother's clothes when they could get away with it.
They may be doing this hoping not to get caught. Some actually fantasize about getting caught and "forced" to dress completely with her supervision. I've heard that one a lot. She forced me, hehe. Sure, okay. Whatever makes it easier on you honey, just be happy.
Still others have a girlfriend or just a friend who has helped them pick out clothes, learn makeup and maybe even venture out the door on the town. Doesn't have to be a club. It could be shopping, a walk in the park or whatever. Those are the lucky ones.
For some "girls in waiting", they sit on the sidelines and wonder what it's like, never quite able to take that first step. Let's face it, society is messed up. We all have to deal with the "shame" put on us for expressing ourselves this way. It doesn't matter if you are CD or a t-girl, everybody faces it. How you deal with it and overcome it is all that matters.
Let me tell you this though. There is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of here and it is NOT a contest. You may see the beautiful t-girl in the video and say, "I'll never look as gorgeous as her."
You can't get caught up in that or the label of being "passable" or pretty enough. It's about how it makes you feel inside. It's about being yourself. Whether you aim to be 24/7 or just whenever you can, you can do it if you want to. Don't be afraid, even though I know you feel the fear. We all do.
So I am quite sure there are some "girls in waiting" reading this post. You're probably a little shy, even though you took the time to read this. It's okay though. You are among friends here. Maybe you are in a similar situation as I was, and you don't really have anybody where you are to help you. You don't know where to start.
I can tell you a little of where I started. I spent more years than I care to remember wondering what it would be like if I were born a woman. I used to fantasize about being force feminized and forced to be with a man. It exited me more than anything else, but I would also feel the shame. This was long before I knew anything about the trans community or cross dressing or anything.
I'd tell myself that I shouldn't be feeling this way and I shouldn't think such thoughts. There was something wrong with me, I thought. Through it all, the feelings and those thoughts always came back.
When my sister passed away almost seven years ago, I recall going through her old clothes in the shed and finding some panties and bras and putting on her panties. It was a total turn on to me. It's the first time I shaved down there. I used a toy on myself, not for the first time. But, the shame kicked in. I didn't purge. I kept the clothes until I was ready. As I said, the feelings never go away if this is truly who you are.
You hear a lot about purging. Maybe you have first hand experience. I know of people who had dresses, skirts, lingerie, shoes, everything. The shame becomes too much, and they throw everything out. For most of them, though, that is followed by regret. They wish they could have that stash of clothes that cost hundreds and even thousands of dollars to build up.
I've spent a couple thousand myself in just a two year span, which is quite a bit for me. What's funny is I don't think I spent that much on men's clothes in at least 15 years before that. Not even close. I simply didn't care how I looked.
Now, here I am with a nice wardrobe of nearly two dozen dresses, over 20 nighties, over 50 pairs of panties, over 2 dozen bras, plus jeans, tops, shoes, makeup.
If you know your size, you can start by shopping online for what you want. There are also sites that convert men's sizes to women's sizes. Me, I just dove right in and started shopping for clothes at the store. A lady I know was going to take me shopping, but she kept putting it off. I had two choices, either keep thinking about it or go shopping.
So, off to the store I went. At that time, I was wearing my sister's old shorts and top and panties and bra. I went to Rite Aid and bought a pack of Hanes panties, a skirt and some white tights. Also some lipstick. From that moment on, I've always worn one shade of lipstick or another and bras and panties, every day.
I know first hand how nerve wracking it can be to shop, but how fun as well. In line at Rite Aid, a couple of guys laughed at me, but I didn't care. Fact is, I get called fag all the time, and I still don't care. I don't have to live my life to make people like that happy.
The second time I shopped at a woman's store. I walked up to the register and informed the lady I would be shopping for myself and asked if that was okay. She didn't have a problem with that. If you're really worried about something like that, that's the safe way to go. If they have a problem, move on, but most of the time they won't if you're serious about what you're doing.
Also, dressing rooms. If you are there dressed, in most cases it's okay to use a woman's dressing room. If you're nervous about it, you can always wait until nobody's around and then try things on or ask a sales lady. If in doubt, use the men's dressing room. As for purchasing your stuff and worrying about what they will say to you at the register, don't worry. They are there to sell. If they are rude, they can lose their jobs. Just pay for your stuff and go.
As I have been painting my nails since I started dressing, I get looks all the time. Some are shocked, some are very friendly. I've been complimented on my nails or the color of something I bought. For the most part, it's been pleasant, and I enjoy shopping when I can afford it. Usually, it's for the sales. I'd like to be a Macy's and Nordstrom girl, but I'm Sears and Penney's and that's okay. It's not a contest.
I never did a bra fitting. I did trial and error. Currently I'm taking an herbal hormone regimen. The results on my body have been slow, but noticeable. It takes a while, but I have time. Anyway, my advise on bras is if you are going to do a fitting, call ahead and let them know you are coming if you are looking for a more pleasant experience, and be honest. That's not to say you can't show up and do it, but some ladies may not be as understanding.
What I like about shopping in person versus online is you can look up close at what is there and try on things you like. I always try on different outfits. It's part of the experience and I want to make sure I have the right size.
If you aren't going dressed, but you want to shop, that's still possible to do. I found that starting out it's best to give women the right of way. If they are looking in an area you want to look, yield to them and come back to it when they are gone. Don't hover there. Less of a chance of attitude from somebody thinking you are infringing on their territory.
If a sales lady comes over to help you, don't be afraid to ask for help. It is their job to help, after all. Just be respectful and be serious about it. You are a paying customer, so if you are being serious, they are there to take your money. If they say something after you leave, who cares? Does it really matter? You never know, though, you may meet somebody that can help you with your look and help you take your first steps out the door dressed.
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